in which the poopiness continues...

I got a text message the other night from Joleen. It said simply, "Bailey died". My heart sank that much further because I knew she was referring to Stacie's beloved baby, her golden retreiver Bailey.

Stacie is a new friend to me. I knew of her and her work, I admired it but I hadn't met her or been in contact until last December when I lost my sweet Malia. Stacie must have read my blog and took the time to write me a very sweet note telling me how sorry she was and how she understood what pets could mean to people. From then on Stacie and I have corresponded via email and she has been a great supporter of my art and endeavors.

I feel so sad that someone with such a pure, sweet heart; so full of goodness has to feel burdened and heavy and sad at this kind of loss. Stacie, this HUG is for you!

Lately I have found myself carrying alot of burdens, some belong to me and some don't. I am learning to acknowledge and let go. It is hard but its something I have to do for my emotional well being and for my family.

I had turned away from art. I had not been in the studio for weeks! Literally. I was hurting and needed to get in there and get dirty. It was very hard to get started but I did and so much came pouring out. Much of what came out is for friends. I am assembling some special ATC books and participating in a project for Celine. I find it hard to do work for ME, but I made myself sit down and start a journal ( its BLUE to match my mood) and a bio piece (which can be seen in Portals.) More is starting to flow and the call is great. I wish I coudl live in my studio but alas...

Poor peanut has been sick. It came on all of a sudden and she spent much of last night whimpering, clinging to me and throwing up. I hate it! I feel so helpless and it hurts me to see her hurt. I am doing laundry to catch up with all the mess and she is finally resting. I feel weak but I will march on...