20 February 2006

in which the poopiness continues...

I got a text message the other night from Joleen. It said simply, "Bailey died". My heart sank that much further because I knew she was referring to Stacie's beloved baby, her golden retreiver Bailey.

Stacie is a new friend to me. I knew of her and her work, I admired it but I hadn't met her or been in contact until last December when I lost my sweet Malia. Stacie must have read my blog and took the time to write me a very sweet note telling me how sorry she was and how she understood what pets could mean to people. From then on Stacie and I have corresponded via email and she has been a great supporter of my art and endeavors.

I feel so sad that someone with such a pure, sweet heart; so full of goodness has to feel burdened and heavy and sad at this kind of loss. Stacie, this HUG is for you!

Lately I have found myself carrying alot of burdens, some belong to me and some don't. I am learning to acknowledge and let go. It is hard but its something I have to do for my emotional well being and for my family.

I had turned away from art. I had not been in the studio for weeks! Literally. I was hurting and needed to get in there and get dirty. It was very hard to get started but I did and so much came pouring out. Much of what came out is for friends. I am assembling some special ATC books and participating in a project for Celine. I find it hard to do work for ME, but I made myself sit down and start a journal ( its BLUE to match my mood) and a bio piece (which can be seen in Portals.) More is starting to flow and the call is great. I wish I coudl live in my studio but alas...

Poor peanut has been sick. It came on all of a sudden and she spent much of last night whimpering, clinging to me and throwing up. I hate it! I feel so helpless and it hurts me to see her hurt. I am doing laundry to catch up with all the mess and she is finally resting. I feel weak but I will march on...


  1. Heather ~

    I love the aqua collage you show here! You get back in your studio today and keep creating!

    When it rains it pours - my sister called me last night - she had to put down her 18 year old cat ... I wondered why we keep these dear animals who have such short lives so that we can feel so much pain at the end of them. But it's the total love they give us and we give them ... and it lingers on throughout our existence in our memories. It is important and it is so pure.

  2. so so sad when I pet dies :( I have done that several times. I guess it is one of the reasons I don't a cat anymore.

  3. You have bright days ahead......
    We just have to get your muse to whisper something other than blue.